Stiff

Okay, so I had one of those days, you know the ones that throw you the kind of curve ball that not only catches you out, but leaves you on the bench, dazed and confused.

It was too early for wine, so I indulged in the next best thing...retail therapy...at the University Book Shop...oh dear.


I thought I was quite self controlled and exited with only:


A cool set of twelve note cards to fuel the stationery addiction.

A greeting card to stick on my office wall because it was apt and looked cool.

Two pens that write so smoothly - has anyone else become frustrated with scratchy ball point pens that sulk in winter?

That cool set of Penguin pencils I had so successfully resisted...until now.

And last but not least - a book - surprise! But what self-respecting crime writer could resist a book called Stiff - The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers. Written by Mary Roach who also brought you the book about, well, you can guess from the title - Bonk.

The back cover blurb of Stiff begins:

"Whether buried, burnt, snatched, donated or decomposed, some people have been more useful dead than alive..."

As you may guess from that snippet, the book takes a look at the use of cadavers in the advancement of medical and, er, other knowledge. It makes for fascinating reading.

To give you another indication of the tone, which is entertaining and informative, here is a little excerpt from chapter 4: Dead Man Driving.

Human crash test dummies and the ghastly, necessary science of impact tolerance. By and large, the dead aren't very talented. They can't play water polo, or lace up their boots, or maximise market share. They can't tell a joke, and they can't dance for beans. There is one thing dead people excel at. They're very good at handling pain.

It was just perfect for a girl needing a spot of slightly dark entertainment.

Proof

I'm in the process of proof-reading the galleys of Containment. It's the first proof, so I've picked up a few boo-boos, as you'd expect. I like the fact I get to proof read it twice, because as a reader, I know there is nothing more jarring than coming across a spelling mistake or obvious error. It rips you out of the fantasy world you've been inhabiting into the here and now in a most irritating way. In fact, it can taint the whole book experience. The perfectionist in me likes proof reading.

I also find the proof reading very useful for my writing. At this stage in my year I'm well into writing the next novel, Bound, so having to take the time to proof read Containment is a handy reminder of character's voices. Its a refresher course in their idiosyncrasies, the little mannerisms that help to make them unique, and memorable. I've even found myself jotting notes - remember to make Sam say this, or don't forget such and such really gets up her nose, and don't forget her mother is a real cow.

The other lovely thing about this stage in the process is the manuscript I'm checking is typeset, it's starting to look and feel like a real novel. I can look at the cover picture and look at the text and think my god, yes, it's another one! It's getting pretty real.

At this stage I also start to get paranoid. It's due out in four months - in that time will some other author miraculously come out with the exact same plot line I have? Will some well known Dunedin landmark I have used in the story suddenly be destroyed? - Don't laugh, it happened in The Ringmaster! Or will life imitate art. (The Ringmaster again.)

So I'll hold my breath, and hope none of the above happens, and finally be able to relax at the launch party. But then the next wave of paranoia will strike - waiting for the reviews...

Cover up too

And for those in Germany - Der ungeschminkte Tod (The Ringmaster), coming in January 2010.

Cover up

Coming to a bookstore near you at the end of November...

Mothers Raising Sons

By Nigel Latta.

Nigel Latta talks a lot of common sense, he also talks a lot of rubbish, which is definitely one of his charms, but he talks a lot of rubbish with plenty of common sense.

This is a parenting book written by someone who is funny, irreverent, non-politically correct, hugely well qualified and who happens, in my mind, to be right.

This book is an antidote to the slew of contradictory information that parents are barraged with everyday by well meaning experts and sensationalist media which reports our boys are in crisis, and it cuts through to the chase of the matter which is parenting seems to have become too hard, too complicated and too guilt and fear inducing and we need to step back and simplify it.

I found this to be a reassuring and entertaining read, although dear Nigel can waffle on a bit. But I was pleased to see that according to Nigel, Hubby and I are doing pretty OK in the way we're bringing up our little folk, and we haven't fallen for all the hype, well, not most of it anyway.

We're pretty chuffed with the results.

Never Suck a Dead Man's Hand

That book title got your attention! It got mine too. Never Suck a Dead Man's Hand: Curious Adventures of a CSI is by real life CSI Dana Kollmann. When I say real life, I mean she didn't go to work in 6 inch stilettos, plunging neckline, chunky jewelery and big night out ready full make-up and hair like they do on telly. (Does that really annoy you too?)

Kollmann worked with the crime lab with the Arlington County and Baltimore County police departments and in this book relates some of the more curious things she came across in her grizzly line of work. The are plenty of urgh moments and there's lots of humour and so far I'm loving this book. It's a great slice of life in the real world of CSI from someone who is a natural storyteller. She manages to sneak in quite a bit of technical detail without it sounding like a forensics 101 lecture.

It's given me a few ideas about what to do with bodies...

Crime writing - a quick kill?

I was reading through the Christchurch Press this morning (one can never have too many newspapers in the weekend) and came across an article about Canadian crime writer Linwood Barclay. He was talking about his latest book Fear The Worst but the bit that got me was when he was talking about the time frames involved in his novel writing. The article by Margie Thomson says:

"His first draft will take around seven weeks, then another six weeks or so of editing."

That fair blew my socks off.

Admittedly, the man was a journalist in a former life and I think journalists are at an advantage in the world of writing to deadlines as there is nothing more pressing than the next days edition and they will have honed those skills of getting the job done over many years of pressure.

But still, seven weeks!

Then I got to thinking. What would I have to do to get a draft written in seven weeks. What sort of support mechanisms would I need.

Then it all came clear.

I would need a wife.

That's what I would need, a wife.

Someone else to look after the family, attend to school runs and kids activities and Mount Laundry and getting the dinner on the table and actually functioning as a normal human being and being the glue that held the family together.

So there it is.

I need me a wife.